i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
