Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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