Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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