Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
