everyone is single if you try hard enough
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
