My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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