I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
