I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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