when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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