I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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