were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
