That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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