Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
