It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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