Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
