Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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