Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
