She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
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