I need help removing her.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize
