whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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