New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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