we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
