I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
