But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Randomize
