I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
