He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
My liver just had a heart attack.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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