i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
