remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
