I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
