Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize