Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
