Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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