dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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