Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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