508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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