shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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