Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
