Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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