We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
