If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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