one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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