told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
