he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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