just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
