like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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