I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
