I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
