don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
