I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
