also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize