We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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