You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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