you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
