shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
