The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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