Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
