so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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