Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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