Your face is a jimmy john
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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