the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
